If you follow me on Instagram (@mummyingme), you’ll know I’m a fan of a good motivational quote.
With this in mind, I decided to create a “series” of blog posts. Each one will describe one of my favourite quotes and what they mean to me.
This post is “part 1”. Quite how many of these posts there will end up being I’m not yet sure but watch this space!
My first quote choice is my favourite:
Let me start by explaining where this quote came from…
I was unwell in hospital several years ago. With a group of others in a similar situation, we were exploring the concept of decision making. The group leader mentioned this quote and it immediately struck a chord.
She explained that the word “if” can be moved to the beginning of the quote: if nothing changes, nothing changes. But the message is effectively the same.
If you want to stay in this same mindset, then yes, continue living the way you do. But if you want to see some difference, then start to make changes to your life.
At the time this seemed an unnerving prospect, one I wasn’t able to quite process straight away. But in time, it made complete sense. I was suddenly aware of where I could apply this statement.
What does this look like now?
Fast forward a few years and while I’m not exactly a virtue of excellent health (haha), I like to think I’m at peace with the situation we’re in.
(Please be clear this does not mean I am always happy and smiling, that isn’t realistic. We are allowed to be at peace with something but still find it shit and have a good rant every now and then.)
I like to think part of the reason for finding peace is that I approach life with a “nothing changes if nothing changes” mindset.
However, M.E. is a condition which is not easy to recover from. In fact research shows that only 5% of people with the condition fully recover, so in no way am I suggesting that you can simply make some changes and this M.E. will go away.
But, as I said in one of my first blog posts, “accept the diagnosis, not the prognosis”. I don’t like to sign up to the “it’s all doom and gloom and your life is over” mindset.
That’s where “nothing changes if nothing changes” comes in. The changes we make can help us to live at peace with the situations we find ourselves in. If we constantly live in a heightened state of anger with our situation, then life is going to be seriously miserable.
How I explain the use of my powerchair…
When I’m out and about in my hired powerchair (electric wheelchair), I regularly overhear children asking their parent “why is she in that wheelchair?” If I’m close enough, like I was at a self-checkout the other day, I like to explain. I do know that not everyone is comfortable explaining their situation but seeing as I’m a blogger, it’s pretty obvious that I don’t mind talking about my life. I’m a fundamental over-sharer if you hadn’t worked that out already! But what I say to these young children is:
“I have a condition which means I get very tired if I walk a short distance. I can walk a little bit (and I point to the kind of distance I can manage) but that makes me incredibly exhausted. So in order to be able to get out and about and enjoy what life has to offer, I have my whizzy wheels to help get me out.”
Whenever I give that explanation, the parent/carer tends to show a sigh of relief, that they don’t have to make up some reason why I might be in a wheelchair.
And I’m perfectly ok with that. In the last few years since leaving hospital, my husband and I have made changes. These changes have benefitted the both of us and now our toddler too.
Since being diagnosed with M.E. I have bought several mobility aids. I’m not ashamed of this. I’m not “giving in” to the illness, but am making a change to how I go about my daily life. This means I can preserve the energy I need for my daughter and husband.
We have to go through life accepting that certain things can’t change, but lots of things can.
We can change how we approach a situation and we can change what situations we put ourselves in. It’s taken me many years to work this out but now I have, life is much, much more peaceful than it ever was before.
M.E. has given me a reason or rather a situation to force the issue, and sometimes that’s exactly what’s needed to make the changes that are desperately needed in your life.
There’s no denying it, M.E. sucks big time, but now I’ve made certain changes, the happier and more peaceful days far outweigh the bad ones.
I wish everyone out there in difficult situations the bravery to make the changes that need to be made. These changes will look different to each individual, but I hope that everyone that needs to make changes feel they can.
Wishing you all the best.
Until next time,
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