6 Things I Wish I Could Tell My New-Mummy Self

6 Things I Wish I Could Tell My New Mummy Self

I found the newborn days really hard. It’s hard to admit that as we’re meant to, as new mums, be relishing in the wonders of it all. Be tagging everything on social media with the hashtag #blessed. Don’t get me wrong, I love our daughter to bits. She’s my world. But boy were those early months tough.   

I put a lot of pressure on myself to do certain things in the early days, achieve certain things (and I do wonder if that has affected my development of M.E.)

Related: Mummying and M.E. – My Story

I know I would have been told these things in those early months but I didn’t listen. I thought I knew better. How wrong I was. 

In the last few days I got thinking about those early days and I thought, what if I could go back and tell my new-mummy self a few tips? A few nuggets of information I wish I’d taken seriously. So here they are:

  1. It doesn’t matter how often you leave the house: once a day, once a week, once a month. 

Noone cares. You don’t get a badge or certificate for leaving the house as soon as possible after giving birth. Giving birth is a huge thing for the human body to deal with. Whether you’ve had a C-section or vaginal birth, you have to rest to recover. There’s a reason why in far-Eastern countries, new mums are kept inside the house for a month post-birth. Everyone around them rallies around to bring food, sort out the house, and allow you to rest to recover. I really do wish we could adopt this here. Remove that pressure or expectation to leave the house. 

6 Things I Wish I Could Tell My New Mummy Self

2. Lower your standards. 

I said this in my article “rules for parenting with ME CFS” and it applies here too. Really really lower your standards. It really doesn’t matter if the dishes are piling up. It really doesn’t matter if you (and the baby) are covered in stains. All the stains. Noone cares about the state of your house other than you. Let it go. 

Related: Mummying and M.E. – Rules for Parenting with ME CFS

6 Things I Wish I Could Tell My New-Mummy Self

3. Fed is best. 

It doesn’t matter if you breast feed or bottle feed. Yes breast milk contains antibodies and loads of amazing stuff but if it causes so much stress to the mother attempting to breast feed and the stress of that causes other problems, then surely the benefits of breast milk become nil? Happy mummy = happy baby and all that. Which brings me onto the next one: 

4. Talk. Talk about your feelings. 

It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. It’s ok to not know what you’re doing. It’s ok if you just don’t know what to do when your baby just. Will. Not. Stop. Screaming. Talk to people. Let them know how you’re feeling. Don’t even attempt to cover up your feelings, it won’t do anyone any good. 

6 Things I Wish I Could Tell My New Mummy Self

5. Wear comfy clothes 

Elasticated waists. Elasticated everything. Post-C section? High waisted pants. Don’t let anything rub against that scar. Spent all day in your pyjamas? Perfectly fine! Totally normal! Ignore (and unfollow) anyone who attempts to say that the opposite is true. It took 9 months to grow the baby, it’s going to take 9 months (plus!) to return to normal. 

6. Cuddle your baby and cuddle her some more. 

Once they’re older they won’t stay still. Cuddles only really happen when they’re asleep or unwell. Or is that just my daughter? Newborn babies need cuddles. They want and need the smell of mummy (or daddy). They need the safety and security of their loved ones. They’ve spent 9 months inside your uterus, no wonder they don’t want to let you go! Let it happen! I truly do miss the newborn smell. The smell of E’s head. Beautiful. Is that just me?

6 Things I Wish I Could Tell My New-Mummy Self

 

And finally… you’re doing great. 

I’m hoping that if we ever are lucky enough to have a second, that I’ll look back at this and try to remind myself to just chill out that bit more. Easier said than done eh! 

If you’re a new mum (or dad) yourself, you’re doing great. Even if you don’t think you are, you really are. 

mummying and me

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